DORITOS IN ALL THEIR GLORY

Gluttony is supposed to be a deadly sin, according to someone. I really don't know who decided that, because they sure didn't consult me. I think reading too many self-help books and taking Dr. Phil seriously is sinful gluttony, whereas eating a cartful of truffles is not. Truffles and guacamole Doritos. That's just fun. Gluttony CAN be a good thing, except that when it's food, it can be decidedly uncomfortable.

I have recently re-lived the downside of gluttony. In a vain attempt to deny my looming re-commitment to a low-carb lifestyle, I tried to cram as many of them as possible into me in the last 2 days. Here is an excerpt that I wrote in the wee hours while pacing between the kitchen and bathroom.

"I couldn't feel more nauseas, but I actually got out of bed, at 4:00am, in search of the Miss Vicki's sweet chili and sour cream chips that I saw come through the door in a luminous Safeway bag. My eyes CAN be sharp when motivated. I really am very, very ill, but damn it, if this mission is successful, those will be the last evil (but yummy) carbs going through me for quite some time. Damn, I'm going to miss them. It was far easier the first time I did this, because I was so fat and was so excited to peer into the unknown that is shopping at a regular store. I had no idea what I was getting into. Now I know and I have great sadness knowing they can never be a part of my life. I'm not much good at goodbyes. I believe that most people that know me are pretty clear on that. I have occasionally been known to obsess about the things that I love. And now, I must return to my bed, with a bloated belly and grief in my heart. Goodbye carbs. With not as much weight to lose this time, I'm not nearly as motivated. It'll be slow going too, so I must dig deep to find the discipline and patience to make this successful. I'll find it."

So, this is a week later, the pounds are coming off and I indeed did locate the tools necessary for this to work. I'm back into clothes I had grown out of and look forward to even smaller ones in the near future. I do miss those lovely carbs, but not as much as I had anticipated. The reward is better.

In the end, I will find more suitable pursuits to saturate myself in, but I must say, long live gluttony.