DUH-HUH

Well, I met me a real, live Republican! What an eye-opener. I've now had some of the nasty rumours confirmed. Mind you, the descriptions of Republicans provided to me were all from Liberals, so a face to face was required (American Libs of course, I really try to keep my distance from Canadian ones, with my dear Marcus being the exception. It's not his fault his parents twisted his young mind and tainted it with their "the government can run your life better than you can" ideology. It's nice to see he's acknowledging the filth that dominates this party).

In some very weird, masochistic way, I want to meet more. It was a truly fascinating experience, although I did feel a little dumber afterwards. I found myself saying "really" and "you don't say" quite frequently. That was just to confirm that I had indeed heard him spout something utterly ridiculous and sometimes appalling.

Antonio/Tony is a backwards, self-serving, narrow-minded, chauvinist, blowhard. 34 years of age, chubby and balding, shit corporate job, no personality (ok - to be fair - none that I could detect). And how he looooooves his Clemson football ring! He believes in the long-gone memories that ring possesses. It's possible he clings to the singular belief that when he dons that magical ring, he is transported back in time. Back to his hey-day. Back to a time when all he had to do to get laid is show up for football practise. The rest of the year was set. Babes wanting to get close to the football player, as if their star would rise as well. A LOT of blowjobs have been given in the name of cross-promotion.

Sadly for Tony, there are no football seasons left for him. He's going to have to go after that elusive pussy the old fashioned way. Work for it. I must say, he could use a little time in skirt-chasing camp. A couple of drinks, leering at some cleavage, pulling a chair close, whew - those were some hot moves I could barely resist. He could have recovered if he'd had something to say. But, and I must emphasize but here, there wasn't a single thing that I found interesting, intelligent or moving. I waited, god I was patient. I stayed in his company in anticipation of that nugget that would peak my interest, or at least lessen my disgust. It was not to be. His idea of wooing was a feeble attempt at dominating me, using charming phrases such as "Now listen bitch" (he had it in his head that I needed a manly man to tell me what to do). Oh, how I swooned.

Now, I started this by labeling him a Republican, when he's really so much more than that, but here's why. Politics came up and I had a few disparaging remarks to say about his beloved Bush. He sputtered and stammered and turned a lovely crimson, right before he shouted out, not unlike a 5 year old, "Take that back!". That was how he handled debate. Very impressive. Since he had no ability to discuss the issues in a mature and logical manner, he resorted to tearing apart Canada. That was equally amusing, since he wasn't aware until recently that there was even anything above Montana.

So Tony, safe travels back to South Carolina. I wish for you to find an aging cheerleader, who also has the left the best part of herself on that football field, or under the stands, whichever.